In Their Proper Places
by Alphard
Summary: Set two months into Remus’ and Severus’ first year at Hogwarts. Both students are outcasts in their respective houses and facing more pressure than either of them can handle. Something has to give. Not slash, by the way, despite all appearances.


_Notes: _

This occurs a couple of months after Welcome to the First Day of the Rest of Your Life, and completes the triptych regarding Remus and Severus in their first year. It can stand alone, but some references are made to the other two stories. 

For Akiko and Cadenza. Because. 

Finished 31 August 2003 

* * *

**In Their Proper Places**

  
"Oh, look. It's young Snape." 

Severus tried to concentrate on his book. _Don't be insane. You've done this before, you know how it's going to turn out._

"Doing anything earth-shaking today, Snape?" 

"Or have you run out of ideas?" 

He scowled ferociously, pushing his face still further into the book, not realising how foolish it made him look and aware only of his anger. _No._

The admission of his own incompetence only made him more resentful. Nott, Lestrange, and Wilkes. All of them fifth-years, all of them four years older than he was. In a magical duel he could defeat one of them with some effort, two of them on a good day perhaps. Against three he had no chance. They knew they were older, always turned it into a physical fight. 

_ Don't humiliate yourself in public. Don't give them more reason to laugh at you. _

He'd tried it once, ended up with a cut lip and a twisted ankle. They hadn't meant to hurt him seriously, only break his pride, make it clear that they could do so much worse. Make it so that he'd have to limp back to his room in disgrace. 

_ "Well now. Seems like even Severus Snape can't do everything after all." _

"Ahh, let's not disturb the poor child studying. He's got to ace all his exams, doesn't he?" 

"Seeing as he can't ace anything else." 

_Don't. _He refused to look up and see who was saying what. _Better not to see their faces. Better not to watch everyone else pretending not to notice._ No first-year was going to stand up for him. This was Slytherin, after all. 

He still didn't know half their names. All the first-years looked alike to him, and so did all his seniors. One side nothing but subservient expressions, either biding their time or merely trying to keep out of the way, the other a solid wall of unfriendliness bent on putting him in his place. 

It was getting so that he could hardly breathe. Severus sat up where he'd been lying on the couch, placed his book carefully on the table, and walked out of the common room stiffly. No one stopped him. 

_ You'll show them. Tomorrow in the schoolroom, next month, next year. Once you learn enough, you'll show them. Great stupid oafs. _

He felt sick. 

_ Just because I'm smarter than they are. _

And then he was at the grassy, rocky patch overlooking the lake. Severus paused and squinted in the darkness. _Damn. Not the Lupin boy again._

Remus Lupin was another rule he'd broken, because the Gryffindor sat next to him during Defense Against the Dark Arts and had his grudging respect, if not for character, then at least for sheer academic prowess. Severus tried not to think about it. He despised the other boy's open trust, hated the idea that there was something worth respecting in him. 

_ Stupid of him to sit so close to the water. _Severus considered pushing him in, just to teach him some self-preservation, but then the boy turned and gave him a faint smile. "Evening, Severus." 

Severus ignored him, climbed onto the rocks, and sat down some distance away. He was careful to find a foothold that he could put his weight against if he tipped forward, the way Remus should have done but had not thought to. Anything to persuade himself that he was different from the other boy. 

"Again?" A delicate question. _Here again?_

Unspoken, behind it: _I can talk to you, can't I?_

And still further beneath: _You're just like me, after all._

Just like Remus Lupin, who was as much an outcast in Gryffindor as he was in Slytherin, who suffered at least as much for associating with him as he did for associating with Remus. Who was lonely, and did a bad job of hiding it. 

_ I'm not like you. I have more pride than that, thank you. _

When it was clear that Severus was not about to reply, Remus fell silent as well. It hadn't always been like that. Earlier in the term Severus had been able to talk civilly with him, playing verbal games where every other statement was a lightly mocking challenge. But by now neither of them was interested in intellectual banter. 

Some time ago Remus had actually tried to confide in him. He hadn't done it again. Severus hadn't answered, and since then he'd never answered Remus again. _What was he expecting? Did he really think I was going to console him? _

As if he cared about what went on in Gryffindor Tower. James Potter and Sirius Black lording it over the rest of the first-years in that extravagant manner they had, getting away with murder because of their easy charm, the same easy charm that had the whole of Gryffindor besotted with them. Those two behaved as though they were acting out a schoolboy romance. Severus had difficulty telling them apart, too. Their self-confident grins were identical. 

He had heard the wistfulness in Remus' voice, knew that even this boy wanted some part in it. It made Severus want to hit him. 

_ And you think that I'm like you. _

Not a chance. 

In the silence he heard Remus sob, very quietly. He glanced to his left, saw the other boy bent forward, one hand over his nose and mouth, trying to keep his unhappiness to himself. 

To his surprise he felt tears pricking in his own eyes. He blinked, hard. _No. That would be like admitting that I'm just like him really, that I'm that pathetic. _

Like admitting that Nott and Lestrange and Wilkes, and all of them, are like Potter and Black, like admitting that the Slytherin first-years are no different from the Gryffindor ones, fawning over the idiots – like admitting that I get picked on as much as he does, like admitting that I mind, as much as he does – 

No. Don't. 

He was crying anyhow. 

. 

Remus blinked and rubbed his eyes. They hurt. _I ought to have got more sleep last night. Professor Azazel will kill me if I switch off in class._

Best not to admit, even mentally, that it was the crying that had done it. Best not to think about what had happened last night. Not with Severus sitting rigidly next to him, expression stony. 

_ Seems strange to think about it now, two ten-year-old children crying their eyes out, both pretending not to hear the other._ Remus had stopped first, hesitated, and finally decided that Severus would accept nothing from him anyway. He'd returned to Gryffindor Tower alone, leaving the other boy sitting on the rocks sobbing as though he was being murdered. 

He suspected that Severus blamed him for the breakdown. _He would._ Best not to offend him today. 

Remus sighed mentally. _Best not to think that he's all I have, either._ Peter talked to him only rarely these days. He spent most of his time tagging after Sirius and James. Remus didn't blame him. Given a choice even he would tag after Sirius and James. 

_ Except even Peter stands a better chance than I do. _He tried not to make the next logical link. _If they're like this, even without knowing what I am, what'll happen if they find out? _

No, stop that. Pay attention, won't you? Professor Azazel won't let you off just because you're a good student. 

He breathed in deeply and returned to his note-taking. Azazel was talking about elementary defense spells. It bored him badly, but he tried to look as though he was paying attention. Remus had attacked studying with a ferocious enthusiasm when he was seven, and his parents had bought him all the books he wanted in an effort to make up to him. 

_ It's easy not to be distracted, when there aren't any distractions. _

No. Not again. It was getting easier and easier to slip into self-indulgence. _No one's screaming for silver yet. Get a grip. _

Next to him Severus was doing even worse than he was. Remus saw the tip of his quill shaking, amplifying the trembling in his fingers. He bit his lip, trying to hold back his voice. 'Are you all right' was a foolish question; any idiot could tell that he wasn't. 'What's wrong' would be mocking; he knew very well what was wrong. Offering help was suicide, pure and simple. 

Severus glanced up at him. Remus leaned back instinctively. "What the hell do you think you're looking at?" 

"I – " _I didn't do anything._

"_I'm not like you._" Severus' voice was an angry hiss that made several students turn to stare. Azazel's voice stopped, and Remus shut his eyes. _No. _

"Lupin and Snape. I didn't realise you got on so well." 

_ No. No, please, no. Don't make it any worse. _Remus opened his mouth. He could apologise, shoulder the blame, but then Severus would be indebted to him and then there would be fireworks. Besides, there was no telling what Professor Azazel would do even if he owned up. 

Professor Azazel raised one eyebrow. "Perhaps you find the lesson dreary." 

"Yes, sir." Remus bit his lip again. Severus had given that answer. 

"Lupin?" 

Remus coughed. The Gryffindors were watching him. "Perhaps, sir." 

"_Perhaps?_" 

Nothing for it. "I meant yes, sir." 

There was a long pause. Then Professor Azazel straightened up, smiling. "I see. You should have said so earlier. Since the two of you are so knowledgeable, stage a duel." 

_ Stage a what? _Remus blinked. _Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Are you mad, Azazel? Whoever loses will never be able to lift his head again. _

And whoever wins will be carried out of here in glory. 

Severus was smiling already. "Now, sir?" 

_ He's doing this on purpose. Don't tell me he isn't doing this on purpose. _

"Now." Azazel flicked his wand deftly, shifting the teacher's table so that there was a clear corridor across the front of the classroom. "Mister Lupin, please." __

Mister Lupin? Azazel never bothered with the honorific. _So you'll make me the sacrifice, will you? I won't have it._ Severus was not intending to exercise any mercy; neither would he. 

_ And perhaps – perhaps – _He hardly dared to think it, but he knew they were evenly matched and Severus was handling his emotions badly today. 

Remus took his place and removed his wand, gripping it tightly. 

"I suppose you have some idea of what spells to use and how to defend yourself," Azazel said lightly. "Proceed." 

_ Not even a start? _

"Ignis – " 

Remus pointed his wand. "Aquatis." They watched the spells collide, explode in harmless green light. Perfect silence from everyone watching. 

"Expellia – " 

"Scutum." Remus' spell completed itself before Severus' did; this one bounced off. 

"Why isn't he attacking?" 

_ Why – _

Severus flicked his wand. "Lapso!" Remus' legs were jerked from beneath him and he fell, painfully, breath knocked from his lungs. He was still holding his wand, though, and he tried to get up again. He couldn't see anything like this, couldn't see Severus' next move, couldn't dodge – 

"Lapso." 

_ Again._ Remus heard the Slytherins laugh, broke his fall with his left hand. Pain shot up his arm, and he cried out. 

"Impedimenta." 

Severus was going to pluck his wand right out of his hand. 

_ Damn you. _Remus felt the tears come again, angry at himself for ever trusting Severus, hating the other boy for making his defeat so complete. Severus was going to stand over him with both wands, scowling triumphantly, daring him to assert that he had ever been weak enough to cry. 

_ Bloody fool Gryffindor, he called me. _

He's right. 

Severus bent over him, taking his time. Remus couldn't see his smirk, but he knew it would be there. _Severus Snape, you lousy Slytherin, you – _

His right arm came free, and he caught Severus squarely in the shoulder as he pulled himself up. 

He reached out to catch Severus' sleeve as the other boy fell. It didn't work. There was a sickening crack. 

Remus had chosen to stand close to the wall. Severus had fallen, face-first, against the chalkboard ledge. No time to scream, to cry out in pain. There was blood on the chalkboard, on the wall, flecks on Remus' face and clothes. 

_ Severus. _He couldn't speak, couldn't stand. He pulled Severus away from the wall, and the other boy fell against him. Severus was sobbing, tears streaking his cheeks along with the blood, one hand over his face. Choking on blood from his broken nose. 

Then Professor Azazel had scooped up the boy, was gone. 

Remus blinked. He was still kneeling on the floor, hands in front of him as if he was still holding Severus. No one was saying anything. The silence was terrible after Severus' panicked gasping. He dimly remembered that Azazel had demanded that they all stay, before he'd run out carrying Severus. 

Severus' wand was on the floor. So was Remus'; he had dropped it when he caught Severus. 

Remus blinked again, glanced up. The Gryffindors on one side of the classroom, the Slytherins on the other. Both trying to figure out what had just happened, staring at Remus, kneeling with his hands empty. Remus stared back. 

_ The Slytherins will kill me. _

And then Peter was laughing, his voice strangled, giggling nervously. Remus looked at him as if he was mad. The Slytherins were scowling. Remus pulled himself to his feet, intending to plant himself in front of the smaller boy. "Serves him right – playing with you like that." Peter was still giggling. "You showed him. Didn't you see him snivelling?" 

The Gryffindors screamed with laughter. "Snivelling – oh, yes, Snivellus – we'll call him Snivellus, Snivellus Snape – " 

Remus was laughing along with them, shakily, and even some of the Slytherins were joining in. Anything to ignore the blood on the wall, forget Severus' agonised sobbing, the same way he'd sobbed last night, except there was blood on the wall, on the chalkboard ledge, on Remus' hands and face and robes, but everything was all right really – 

"_What_ is going on here?" Professor McGonagall stood at the door, expression frozen. The students stopped laughing. "I don't see anything to laugh about. Class dismissed. Mister Lupin, stay behind." 

Remus, still light-headed with shock, swallowed and nodded. Professor McGonagall waited until all the students were gone, and then locked the classroom door. "Remus Lupin, what were you thinking? Were you even thinking? Severus Snape could have _died_, do you realise that? I thought you had more sense than that, and I thought they said you were a _tame_ – " 

She stopped, abruptly, because Remus had stepped back until his back was against the wall, eyes wide. "Remus. Sit down." 

Remus shook his head. Professor McGonagall took him gently by the shoulders, steered him to a chair, and pushed him down until he was sitting. She let go, and he stayed seated. "I apologise, Remus." 

Remus stared at her. Professor McGonagall sighed, reached into a pocket, and extracted a bar of chocolate. "Eat." 

He ate, and Professor McGonagall waited patiently. "I apologise," she repeated. "Now will you speak?" 

"Professor Azazel made us duel. I didn't do it on purpose. The Impediment Charm Severus cast on me wore off." Remus spoke softly. 

"Professor Azazel's tactics leave much to be desired," Professor McGonagall said quietly. "You and Severus – " 

"He was never my friend." 

"He was never your enemy, either." 

"No." 

"Did you _have_ any friends, Remus?" 

"No." 

"Do you know what Professor Azazel intended?" 

"Yes. So did Severus. One brilliant student on the verge of breakdown is better than two." 

Professor McGonagall frowned, leaned over and touched his hair. _There's blood in it._ "If it helps, it's not a method I advocate. Not even Professor Azazel expected it to turn out like this." 

"Did it work?" He couldn't keep the eagerness out of his voice. _I defeated Severus as completely as he wanted to defeat me. I paid the price. Has it worked? _

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Yes, Remus. It worked." 

Remus slumped in his chair, sobbing with relief. "Good." 

. 

Severus lay awake, staring at the invisible ceiling in the darkness. _You went too far, Severus Snape. You were too certain of something you had no right to be certain of. The boy Lupin has faster reflexes than you thought he did. You meant to humiliate him, but he was the one who humiliated you in the end. Never mind that it was blind luck, never mind that not even he intended it. He defeated you, Severus. _

He shut his eyes. Azazel's words had no mercy. _What did I expect? Did I really think that he would console me? The Slytherin Head of House? No. _

I lost. 

He drowsed. Madam Pomfrey had given him something to take his mind off the pain, and Azazel's voice became his own. 

_ Do you know what they call you now, Severus? Snivellus. Snivellus Snape. The Gryffindors started it. Even the Slytherins picked it up, eager as they were for some way to distract themselves. _

Frightened children are so easy to win over. The memories of frightened children are so easy to manipulate. No one will remember that Remus Lupin hurt you so badly that he almost killed you. No one will remember that he didn't mean to defeat you. No one will remember that he won by luck. 

I lost, and he won. 

That's all that matters. 

Everything in their proper places, now. Severus Snape can be defeated. It took a Gryffindor two inches shorter, a quiet, pale, slender boy, a first-year – Severus is in his first year, too, surprise surprise – to defeat him and put him in the hospital wing. Severus Snape, Snivellus Snape, disgrace to the house of Slytherin. 

There was a soft click. Somebody had come in, edged past the screens to the side of his bed. 

"Severus." Remus' voice was quiet. He'd washed the blood out of his hair, off his face and hands, discarded his uniform and changed into something that didn't reek of blood. Severus' eyes were closed and his breathing was steady; Remus would think he was asleep. 

Another faint click as Remus set his wand down on the nightstand. He'd cleaned the blood off that, too. His own wand was tucked securely into his belt. "I'm sorry, Severus." 

_ Liar. No love lost here. You hated me as much as I did you, in that moment when you thought you were going to lose. Go away. Go back to Gryffindor Tower, where they'll give you a hero's welcome like you always wanted. You fit in now, don't you? With Sirius Black and James Potter and the rest of them. You're one of them now. _

Remus didn't say goodbye. There was a click as he left the hospital wing. 

  
_End 

* * *

Notes: _

I think I've read Ender's Game too many times over. I do know that I can quote from it. I keep telling myself that Hogwarts is not Battle School. No such luck. 

Too many tears in this story, I know, but then I skipped all the bits when Remus and Severus were going downhill and focused on the end. Those two have been getting screwed left, right, and centre (not literally) by their housemates ever since Welcome to the First Day of the Rest of Your Life. It doesn't surprise me that both of them are close to the ends of their tethers. They're only ten. Even if they don't sound anything like it. 

I still find it exceedingly interesting how similar Severus and Remus are. I may have taken the similarity further than it should go, but still. 

I confess that I don't know Latin. All I have is a Latin-English dictionary. I sincerely hope that I didn't get the grammar wrong, and I apologise if I have. The fire and water spells should be fairly obvious; 'Lapso' is literally 'slip and fall'. 'Scutum' means shield. I was wondering about the Proteus Charm, but I forgot what it is that the person actually yells. 

Still no idea whether I'm continuing with writing. I appear to have been reduced to one story every four months or so, so it's hard to say. Also my studies are all shot to hell. 

... I'll try, shall I? 


End file.
